Writing Your Own Marriage Vows

Writing your own marriage vows for a celebrant-led wedding makes your big day even more personal and meaningful. Whether you’re looking to add a touch of humour, express deep emotions, or share a unique promise, your vows are the perfect opportunity to capture your love story. 

Top Note Step-by-Step Guide

With each word, you’re creating a promise that speaks directly from your heart to your partner. But, for many couples, the task of putting love into words can feel daunting. Don’t worry—whether you’re a natural writer or someone who’s unsure where to start, this blog will help you write vows that reflect your unique relationship.

1. Start with Inspiration

Before you begin writing, spend some time thinking about what marriage means to you both. Consider the following:

• Your Love Story: How did you meet? What made you fall in love? What have you been through together?
• Core Values: What are the most important values you share, and how do you want them reflected in your vows?
• Future Vision: What kind of future are you promising to build together?

You might also read examples of wedding vows online or think about the words of your favourite poems, books, or songs for inspiration. However, make sure your vows are a true reflection of your relationship, not a copy of someone else’s.

2. Decide on a Tone

Your vows should reflect your personality as a couple. Are you light hearted and playful, or deeply sentimental? It’s important to keep the tone consistent throughout. If one of you is writing funny vows and the other is writing something deeply emotional, the vows may feel unbalanced. 

Questions to ask yourselves:

• Do you want your vows to be humorous, traditional, romantic, or a mix of styles?
• Will you both follow a similar structure or theme?

3. Set Some Ground Rules

To avoid any surprises on the big day, have a discussion about the length, tone, and content of your vows. Here are a few things to consider:

• Length: Aim for around 1-2 minutes per person. You want them to be meaningful but not too long.
• Tone: Make sure you both agree on whether you’ll be funny, serious, or a combination of both.
• Content: Agree on the level of personal details or inside jokes you feel comfortable sharing in front of your guests.

4. Create an Outline

If you’re not sure how to structure your vows, start with a simple outline. This will help organize your thoughts and ensure that your vows flow smoothly.

Here’s a sample outline you can follow:

• Start with a memory: Recall how you met, your first impression, or a defining moment in your relationship.
• Talk about your partner’s qualities: Highlight what you love most about them.
• Make your promises: This is the heart of your vows. What do you vow to do, support, or cherish in your marriage? 
• End on a high note: Wrap it up with a closing statement about your love for them and your excitement for the future.

5. Make Your Promises Specific

Generic promises like “I promise to love you forever” are lovely but try to include specific commitments that speak to your relationship. Think about:

• How do you want to support each other day-to-day?
• Are there inside jokes or quirks that can make your vows more personal?
• What are the unique challenges you’ve faced together, and how do they shape your promises?

For example, instead of saying “I promise to always be there for you,” you could say, “I promise to be by your side, even when you binge-watch our favourite shows without me.”

6. Practice, But Don’t Over-Rehearse

Once you’ve written your vows, practice saying them aloud to see how they sound. However, avoid memorizing them word-for-word. Your vows should feel authentic and natural on the day, not like a rehearsed speech.

7. Write and Re-Write

Your first draft doesn’t have to be perfect. After writing, put it aside for a day or two and then come back to it with fresh eyes. You’ll likely find new ways to improve and refine your vows.

8. Have a Backup Plan

If you’re worried about being too emotional to read your vows on the big day, prepare a backup plan. You could either have a copy on hand, or ask your celebrant to read your vows on your behalf if needed.

9. Print or Write Them Neatly

Finally, once your vows are polished and ready, make sure you have a neat, readable version for the ceremony. Whether you write them out by hand or print them, make sure they’re easy to read when emotions are high!

Conclusion

Writing your own vows is an opportunity to make your wedding ceremony one-of-a-kind. It’s a chance to tell your love story, share your promises, and speak from the heart. By following these steps, you’ll create vows that are meaningful, personal, and truly special.

💍 Need help crafting the perfect words? As a wedding celebrant, I can guide you through the process, helping you create vows that truly reflect your relationship and personality. Let’s make your ceremony unforgettable! 

If you’re looking for more guidance on writing your vows or planning a celebrant-led wedding, feel free to get in touch through my website at www.pjtopnote.co.uk