
How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Partner’s Patience)
by Steve Pritchard-Jones
So, you’ve decided to write your own wedding vows. First off, congratulations on being brave! Writing your vows is like crafting a love letter that will be heard by your nearest and dearest while you’re possibly sobbing in a slightly-too-tight suit or dress. No pressure, right? But don’t worry—I’m here to help you turn your beautiful, chaotic feelings into vows that will make everyone (including your partner) laugh, cry, and say, “That’s so them!”
Aim to write vows that are about two minutes in length, roughly 245 words.
1. Start with the Warm-Up Lap
Writing your vows isn’t something you can just dash off like a grocery list. Start by jotting down everything you love about your partner. Do they make the world’s worst jokes but always make you laugh anyway? Do they let you have the last slice of pizza (even if they secretly want it)? Write it all down. This brainstorming session will give you plenty of material to work with later.
2. Find Your Tone (and Stick to It)
Are you going for heartfelt and tear-jerking, or light and funny? It’s okay to mix the two, but make sure your tone feels authentic to your relationship. If you’re the kind of couple who communicates in memes, don’t feel pressured to write something straight out of a Jane Austen novel.
3. Make Promises That Matter
This is the heart of your vows—what are you actually committing to? Sure, you’ll promise to love and cherish them, but what about the little things? Maybe you’ll vow to never watch your favourite series without them. Or promise to take over dish duty when they’ve had a rough day. These small, personal promises often mean the most.
Pick 4-7 key points that best define your relationship and let those be the foundation for your vows.
4. Channel Nostalgia (But Keep It Short)
A quick trip down memory lane can be charming—talk about when you first met, your most ridiculous date, or the moment you realized, this is the person. Just don’t let it turn into a full-on autobiography. Remember, your guests love you, but they probably don’t need a play-by-play of your first six months of texting.
Vows don’t have to be all mushy and romantic—they can be funny too!
5. Practice. Out Loud. Seriously.
You might write something that looks stunning on paper, but when you try to say it, it sounds…awkward. Practicing out loud helps you tweak the flow and make sure it feels natural. Bonus: it’ll also help calm those nerves before the big day.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Feeling stuck? Borrow inspiration from poetry, songs, or even movies. (Yes, quoting The Notebook is allowed if that’s your thing.) And if you’re completely panicking, remember you can always work with your officiant for guidance.
7. Keep It Real and Keep It You
Above all, your vows should sound like you. They don’t have to be perfect; they just have to be honest. It’s okay if you get choked up, stumble over your words, or make a joke that doesn’t quite land. Your partner will love them because they came from your heart.
So grab that pen, unleash your inner Shakespeare (or Chandler Bing), and start writing! You’ve got this—and no matter what, your vows will be as unforgettable as the person standing across from you.
Now, off you go, and may your vows be as legendary as your love story.